Woe is me

you in the air

“I can smell your perfume in the air.” You told me before. 

And now, I can smell you, almost anywhere. 

Officially Missing You

I’m missing a  lot of things recently.. my boyfriend..former colleagues.. high school friends..hanging out with the gang..late night coffee or pizza with friends..things I used to do.. places I used to go to..

so so frustrating. I wish I can be in more than one place at a certain time. 

*sigh*

I just came to the realization that I hate letting others see me cry. 

I wasn’t always like this. I guess that’s part of getting older. Or maybe, I just don’t want to look fragile as I’ve always seemed to others. *sigh*

SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!!

I think I’m actually getting mature. Wow. After 26 years. haha. 

Somehow, I can now manage (if not with grace) two jobs. Even when feeling depressed at that. 

I guess I like it this way. It’s for the better. Like what I thought of yesterday, I’m too  busy to cry.

But then, hopefully one day..someday, I can get to cry my heart out. 

:’(

Marriage

I really like weddings. Be it a grand wedding, or a small family-only affair type of weddings.. 

I’ve attended weddings of friends, and people I don’t even know. (This usually happens when my mom drags me to attend a wedding where she’s one of the ninangs.) 

And more often than not, there would be that moment when a tear or two will roll down my cheeks.

Well, it’s not that I’m unhappy for them, I’m actually *happy* for them. Yet, there’s a twinge of sadness. For me.

I’m 26, I have a child. But unmarried. Honestly, thank God I didn’t get to marry that asshole. haha.

But then, there’s this small part of me that wants *so bad* to be married. Now don’t get the wrong idea here. Of course I don’t want to marry just anybody. I guess I really can’t get married when I don’t have THE ONE I should marry. *laughs cynically*

I’ve got a secret, and I’m only sharing it this one time.. I’m actually envious of the people I know who are happily married. That I cry sometimes, when I see prenup and wedding photos of people.. (sometimes, even photos of people I don’t know haha).

I always say that I feel as though I’m not the “marrying type”. But really, I DO want to get married. It’s just that I haven’t found the one yet.